Songs for wine and regret

I was surfing around and came across a blog that listed the top 25 saddest songs "in the world." I'm a huge fan of lists. There's nothing better than reading a "best of" list and nodding your head in approval or shaking your head in disgust. It satisfies the mini-critic in all of us.

One would assume in creating a list that not only purported to claim the "top" anything but also claimed to include "the world" would be from someone with a vast knowledge of the subject or at least the time and energy to research all music written...ever...anywhere. This person obviously did not have the time. My assumption is that the list was culled from a personal CD collection within the writer's reach. Well, anyone can do that.

And I have. Enjoy!

Without a doubt, one of the saddest songs, nay, albums ever created is Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes. The album is an intimate and painful diary filled with tales of abuse, rape, miscarriages, and other cheery fare. Possibly the saddest (and one of the best) songs on the album is "Silent all these years." With lyrics like You think there's a heaven where the screams have gone/I got twenty-five bucks and a cracker/do you think it's enough to get us there?, you can safely assume tissues are in order.



This next tune is pretty sad on its own, but throw in a great cast (and Tom Cruise) all singing along, and you've got a recipe for tears. Aimee Mann's "Wise Up" is a gloomy little tale of taking a bad situation and doing something about it...or not. The last line pretty much sums up how we all feel sometimes. (And if you haven't seen Magnolia, you should. This clip is much more powerful in its original context.)



Here's a lil' ditty that always makes me sad, especially in the summer. Stevie Wonder could probably make a song about filing taxes riveting. (Forgive the video clip. It's from a silly movie featuring Janet Jackson. Just close your eyes and listen...)



Sheryl Crow has put out some heartbreakers (and some stinky cheese), but the tune from her debut album Tuesday Night Music Club, remains a favorite on my bluest of blue days.



This next song is actually a cover of a Leonard Cohen number (and it was actually on that other site's list), but honestly, no one does it better than Jeff Buckley. The lyrics will break your heart. The fact that such a talented guy died so tragically (accidental drowning), really brings on the hurt.


This next one goes out to anyone who felt inadequate in high school. (I suspect that was all of us.) I find it hard to listen to.



Okay, so this is a horribly incomplete list but I never promised "the saddest songs in the known universe!" These are just some of my favorites. Let me know if I missed an important tear-jerker!

Geek links

--If you are a fan of Adult Swim's Robot Chicken, check out the trailer for the upcoming Robot Chicken: Star Wars.

--Cat Power (Chan Marshall) is going to be in a movie.

--Here's a hilarious clip from collegehumor.com's The Michael Showalter Showalter. (Warning: Contains seriously foul language.) Paul Rudd is interviewed. There's a little homage to the Lilly Tomlin/David O. Russell meltdown.

--Did you know there is a free comic book day?

--If you are fortunate enough to live in a bigger city, here are the indie films opening this week.

--The Beastie Boys are releasing an instrumental album.

--And you think your trivial problems are bad? Look at the day this woman had.

Hughes and the 80s

John Hughes is not a man, he is a legend. If you are scratching your head right now, you need only turn to those who were teenagers in the 80s. Hughes gave a voice to the angsty teenager (often in the form of Molly Ringwald) and opened the door to a flood of copycats that continue to saturate the market. While he hasn't directed anything since 1991, Hughes continues to write. Here's a little retrospective on Hughes as an 80s (mad?) genius. By the end, so much fun will be had that, in the immortal words of Clark W. Griswold, you will "be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' out of your assholes." Enjoy.

Mr. Mom was a shout out to stay-at-home dads. Besides being downright funny, it's packed with binkies, carnivorous vacuum cleaners, and nympho neighbors.



Then, of course, there's Vacation. (Warning: Contains language not suitable when the boss is looming.)




Hughes made his directorial debut with this lil' gem called Sixteen Candles. He also wrote this story which follows the high school shenanigans of Sam, Jake Ryan, and the Donger.



Hughes then made detention fun in the "tragicomedy" The Breakfast Club.



After a return to the Griswold's in 1985's Europeon Vacation ("Oink oink, my good man") and Weird Science (a film that briefly made Kelly LeBrock famous), Hughes teamed up with Ringwald again, writing Pretty in Pink. Was I the only one pissed off that Andie chose that stick-up-his-ass Blane over Duckie??




Next, Hughes wrote and directed 1986's Ferris Bueller's Day Off, a film that gave teens everywhere the know-how to skip school (and avoid guys like this.)



Hughes then wrote a slew of comedies which continued the themes of teens and the caste systems in which they navigate (with a little John Candy thrown in here and there), including Some Kind of Wonderful, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, She's Having a Baby, and The Great Outdoors. (He also directed Planes and Baby.) At the end of the 80s, he would drop one more guilty morsel on our plates: Uncle Buck.

Sadly, Hughes jumped into the kiddie pool in the 90s and 00s with five Beethoven films (the one about the dog), four Home Alone films, and some other forgettable fare. Maybe I just needed to be a teen in the 90s to appreciate these later films. I suppose some blogger could be posting a story right now about how Curly Sue changed his life.

Geek links

--For those who can't wait, here's a preview of tonight's Lost plus a little background on Charlie and Jack.

--AOL is streaming (for free) Tori Amos' new album and the Spider-Man 3 soundtrack which includes the likes of The Flaming Lips, Snow Patrol, and The Oohlas.

--Speaking of the web-slinger, MSN compares Spider-Man to real spiders in this article.

--Ain't It Cool News reports that Del Toro's Hellboy2 has named a villian.

--Over at Cinematical, they say Choke, adapted from Chuck Palahniuk's novel (he also wrote Fight Club) may be a go.

--True Geeks, check out Code Guardian, a cool little CGI film in two parts (part 2 is to the right of the main screen.) I realize the implicit (or perhaps blatant) social commentary, but I'll leave that to you.

--Here's a nice article on Ebert's Overlooked Film Festival.

--Squirrel problems? You need Twirl-a-squirrel. I especially like how the squirrels appear to be drunk after being subjected to the gadget (and I hate those smug birds. Damn you, smug birds!)

--The Phat Tree has posted a very funny Fifteen Unintentionally Homoerotic Films (with video!)

Geek links

--Amateur sleuths and geeks with a thing for Kristen Bell (I'm in love with her), the wait is over! The soon-to-be cancelled Veronica Mars returns tonight with a new episode!

--From the folks at Rolling Stone, the magazine that features popular artists (sometimes those who aren't even musicians), comes this list. Now if only they'd put some of those people on the cover.

--Here's a great article with a funny guy, David Sedaris.

--I must insist you dress your child like this for Halloween.

--A documentary on Jaws is in the works.

--The Super Friends return, sort of.

--Here's some Gillian Anderson news (including a little something about the new X-Files movie!)

--Remember when this game was groundbreaking and only available in arcades???

--Summer movie season is upon us! (Spiderman 3 releases Friday!) Here are The Guardian's picks.

--And, finally, if you haven't checked it out yet, retrocrush is (slowly) posting the 100 worst cover songs ever. They are only up to 84, but the list does include Bill Cosby, Leonard Nimoy, and Justine Bateman!